The Energy Of Give And Take In Relationships

Love, more than any other virtue, is an extremely positive energy; it is an invisible prime mover and foundation of each one of our lives, a source of motivation and inspiration. People lacking love in their lives are normally lesser motivated and happier than those who have positive and healthy relationships full of love and an immense amount of love in their lives. But when the same energy of love, possessing immense positive potential, is negatively focused and is not used correctly, it leads to many dependencies which are negative in nature. How?

When you love someone, that could be your parents, your spouse, your children, your siblings, your friends, any relationship for that matter; there is a invisible and positive emotional and mental attraction between you and that person which keeps you connected to him/her, but the moment the love turns into attachment and becomes a dependency, that person starts dominating and controlling your inner world of thoughts, feelings and emotions and your mental and emotional freedom is lost. It is as if your inner world succumbs to the influence of the other person and you are no longer yourself. Everything that goes on inside you and that comes out of you has an impression of the other. This kind of love is not empowering, energizing and healing, because in this kind of love, over a period of time, desires, wants and expectations from the other start emerging. All these emotions place you in a mental mode of taking instead of giving.  Also in such a kind of love, where love is mixed with a desire to possess, over a period of time you start wanting to control the other. From this control, you start exercising a power to influence the other. At first you are under their influence. As more attachment builds up, this is followed shortly by your desire to bring them under your submission and influence them. That way, you feel that you have them and that they belong to you. This is love that wants to take and not give. In this kind of relationship of love, there is suffering and sorrow.  Even if joy exists, it is extremely short lived. Unconditional love or love that only wants to give and not take or expect, strengthens and is healing, it never hurts or inflicts pain on the other.

Positive Reflections For The Day are messages sent by the Brahma Kumaris. If you are not receiving Positive Reflections already and would like to receive it daily, from the Brahma Kumaris, please send an email to the email address
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The Art Of Stepping In And Stepping Out In Relationships

relationships

For any activity, or relationship to remain peaceful and successful, we must know how far to step in and how far to step out. It is like a gardener who sows seeds at the right time, steps in to plant and water them and then steps out of the picture to allow nature to carry on with her work. However, from time to time, he steps in again to see if there is enough water, if any insects are attacking the plants, if any food is needed. His role is to find the appropriate space for the potential beauty and uniqueness of the seeds to emerge; he does not create the flowers but facilitates their expression. The gardener does not step in too much; that would be called interference. After planting the seeds, he does not demand an immediate result; he does not dig them up next day to see if they have sprouted. He plays his role, fulfills his duty, but lets go because he understands the blooming of the flowers is not dependent on him. Nor does he let go too much. If he did, then the plants would die from lack of care, or the insects and weeds would destroy them. He does not let go so much that he isolates himself from the process. Instead, by knowing when to step in and when to step out, he creates a respectful partnership or relationship with nature.

In the same way as the gardener, we have the duty, or rather the honor, of planting positive seeds of good intentions, love, respect and tolerance, at the same time allowing others and the forces of the universe to be given the space to work and respond according to their time and inclination. Very often we plant those seeds but want an immediate result: * I have shown so much patience, but she doesn’t change or * How much longer do I have to tolerate? I feel suppressed. We become attached to what we do, so there is no space for things to happen at their own appropriate time.  Sometimes we have the wrong type of mercy, or we want to take control, thinking we know better, so we step into people’s lives too much. This interference and lack of free space provokes hatred, resentment and conflict with others.

At other times, we get fed up with others; our tolerance and empathy is completely reduced and we say, * I’ve had enough, or * I have got to do my own thing and so we step out, but in a selfish way, that is, we isolate ourselves from others, or situations. We justify, or disguise, this isolation and rejection and dislike towards others with such phrases as, * I need my own space or * Let them stand on their own feet. In actual fact, we aren’t bothered anymore; we have stepped too far out of the picture because we have not cultivated the patience which allows the good and positive to germinate and grow in its own time. It is an art to know when to step back and when to step forward, but a very necessary one if well-being is to be achieved.

Aspects of Relationships By BK Shivani

Positive Reflections For The Day are messages sent by the Brahma Kumaris. If you are not receiving Positive Reflections already and would like to receive it daily, from the Brahma Kumaris, please send an email to the email address
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Radiating Positive And Powerful Energy

succes, failure

You will notice many people in your life who are very much in need of love but they attract the opposite energy. This is because the negative energy of lack of love for the self and low self esteem which they continuously radiate causes them to attract that same negative energy from others. In the same way, there are many people who are very much in need of success but they attract failure repeatedly.

Failure is directly related to the quality of energy we radiate i.e. how positive and powerful our expectations of success are. Once we set the goals that we wish to reach, we need to be careful that we move towards our aim without creating the negative energy of fear inside our consciousness.

Failure appears when we make an effort to achieve those goals and we damage the result or attract failure without us desiring so, simply because of our fears of failure. Even then, if at that step we feel that we have failed, we need to have a positive and constructive attitude. We need to emerge the power to face and power of acceptance inside us. That way our creative energies will flow and we will carry on going forward without the failure (whether real or only perceived by us to be real but actually not real) becoming an obstacle in our path from doing so. Although at that time it may seem as though we have missed an opportunity or that some openings have closed for us, have faith and be fearless.

If we are fearless and radiate positive and powerful energy, other possibilities will open up. We have this deep rooted belief that our fear will keep us safe, and we treat it like a comfort zone, a red signal that tells us that we should stop. Creating a time every day to do something that you fear, helps you to re-condition yourself internally to begin to see the fear as a green signal and to develop inner courage, so that you can move towards your goal of success. Each day, do what you fear and the fear will soon be removed.

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Positive Reflections For The Day are messages sent by the Brahma Kumaris. If you are not receiving Positive Reflections already and would like to receive it daily, from the Brahma Kumaris, please send an email to the email address awakeningwithbks@bkmail.org with – Subscribe – written in the subject.

Wearing The Crown Of Servant Leadership Gracefully

leadership

It is commonly stated that perhaps those who are best suited to leadership power are those who never seek it. On the other hand, those who have leadership thrust upon them, and take up the mantle because they must, find to their own surprise that they wear it well. This process starts as early as our school life, when we become monitors and prefects and are granted significant responsibilities. We learn leadership at a young age. The type of leadership skills we inculcate at that age are important.

Importantly, a good leader, starting at an early age, should inspire and not aspire. Personal aspirations that are regardless (irrelevant) to others always convert a humble and successful leader into a failed one.  A good leader should influence, not control - controlling i.e. passing orders, policies, rules, goals, targets, reports, visions and changes to force team members to work the way they believe it should be done; failing to listen or only perfunctorily listening (listening with little interest); exhibiting the “Do as I say, not as I do” mentality and providing inadequate support. Negative thoughts, words, actions or inactions expressing emotions like:

* Why aren’t they performing better?

* What’s wrong with that person?

* Why don’t they know their job?

* They should know their job!

lead team members to believe that leaders disrespect them and do not care for them at all. It results in failure of an organization or the task in hand.

A good leader, before orchestrating (controlling) his team members will learn to orchestrate (control) his inner orchestra of thoughts, feelings, attitudes, emotions, moods and perceptions to create the desired tune or team result. When leaders become dictators or start orchestrating (controlling) their team members first, the fall of the team gets certain.  A good leader is characterized by the way he makes his fellow members work as a team with him being a part of it. Misuse of leader power has a negative effect on team members’ perceptions of the leader’s ability and desire to engage in open communication. Because open communication is vital to any project, these perceptions can hurt team performance. These negative effects of leader power can be virtually eliminated simply by clearly communicating the idea that every team member is individually instrumental for any given task at hand.

Traditional leadership generally involves the accumulation and exercise of power by one at the “top of the pyramid”. By comparison, the servant leader shares power and puts the needs of others first and helps people develop and perform as highly as possible. Servant leaders spread an energy of trust in the group, which catalyzes higher levels of engagement of team members, greater involvement of their effort and ideas and greater speed in change and creation of the new, which is the objective of every team. As a result, an excellent team culture is developed.

Servant leaders are sacrificial leaders, ready to make the sacrifice when required. We explain with an example -

Jessica and Ruchika were close childhood and school friends. Jessica was the Head Girl of the school. One day there was a home assignment to be completed by the class. Jessica had forgotten to complete her assignment. She was afraid of the consequences and even more of the humiliation that she was not ready to face being in such a respectable post. She was also afraid of Ruchika’s assignment as being selected as the best one by the class teacher. Jessica’s mind was in a state of turmoil. On one hand was her self identity based on her role of the Head Girl and also the attachment to the same and on the other hand was her friendship and the voice of her conscience. If she chose the former and prevented Ruchika’s homework from being selected as the best, she would be seen in the same light as Ruchika and would save herself embarrassment. If she chose the latter and allowed Ruchika’s homework from being selected as the best, she would lose, but earn respect in the form of blessings and good wishes of her best friend Ruchika. Finally insecurity and the fear of loss of face in front of the class and the class teacher took grip over her. She chose the former, she harmed Ruchika’s homework and prevented Ruchika from submitting it on time and as a result prevented it from being adjudged as the best. She had won. Her ‘id’ – Head Girl had won. But the servant leader inside her had lost. Her relationship had lost. She did not pay heed to the voice of her conscience and her special relationship with Ruchika. As a result she brought about sorrow to her friend. Later on she repented and realized, that day she had not worn the crown of leadership well enough. She had not heard the voice of the servant leader inside her, a leader who could sacrifice the I and keep her friend ahead of her. She realized her mistake and decided to hear the voice henceforth.

Many times, while playing leadership roles, we are also faced with similar situations as Jessica found herself in, whether it’s in school, in the family, in our social circle or at the workplace, when we have to make a choice, when the I has to be sacrificed and the other has to be kept ahead – sometimes we do that easily, sometimes we find it difficult.  There is a servant leader inside each one of us, which favours the sacrifice. We need to awaken that servant leader. Spiritual knowledge helps us in doing the same.

What the quality of a soul’s thoughts and images (or scenes) that it creates, depends on the soul’s sanskaras. Depending on the quality, the soul experiences the various different emotions, whether positive or negative. When the soul first incarnates on the physical world stage from the soul world, the quality of this role play of thoughts and images is high, pure and positive, hence it experiences only positive emotions. As it plays its different roles and comes down in the birth-rebirth cycle, this quality reduces, leading to the experience of emotions like sorrow, peacelessness, etc.

A point worth noting is that the key to any deep emotional experience, whether positive or negative is the creation of thoughts as well as images related to that particular emotion at the same time e.g. think and visualize at the same time, the death of a close relative that took place ten years ago and you immediately have a deep experience of sorrow. Think and visualize together, a loving hug of your mother that took place in your childhood, and you immediately experience deep happiness. This type of co-ordination between these two subtle processes is true concentration. The key to any type of spiritual upliftment is the upliftment of these two processes. The meditation that is taught at the Brahma Kumaris is nothing but a spiritual thought process accompanied by a spiritual visualization process, whereby thoughts and images of the subtle, spiritual self (or soul) and the Supreme Being (or Supreme Soul) are created together to experience the original qualities of the spiritual self and the eternal qualities of the Supreme Being – purity, peace, love, happiness and power.

Positive Reflections For The Day are messages sent by the Brahma Kumaris. If you are not receiving Positive Reflections already and would like to receive it daily, from the Brahma Kumaris, please send an email to the email address
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Filling Myself And Others With Invisible Treasures

treasures

Soul consciousness or the awareness of the soul is the key to the internal treasures of the original and eternal qualities of the soul. The moment I switch on the awareness of the soul, a spiritual point of subtle light or energy, situated at the centre of the forehead, I start accessing the qualities of peace, love and joy that lie hidden inside my consciousness. Since these are not physical treasures, they are limitless. It’s like suddenly I become an owner of an ocean of these qualities. The ocean is inside me and not anywhere outside.

When we hear the word ‘ocean’, the first characteristic that comes to mind is limitless. So suddenly I am the owner of an ocean of peace, love, power and bliss. I can draw and drink as much of these qualities as I want and these qualities will never get over, because an ocean is an unlimited, tireless and big hearted provider or giver, never expecting anything in return. The ocean will never refuse me, but, as stated above, the key to accessing the ocean is the awareness of the soul. It is a common experience of many that the moment we are in the consciousness of the body, we suddenly feel empty of these treasures and we experience emotions of peacelessness or sorrow or hatred or jealousy or powerlessness or fear etc., because in those moments, we have lost access to the ocean.

An important point worth noting in this regard is that along with quenching my thirst, I must also have a big heart, and pass on to others the qualities that I am receiving from my inner ocean. Otherwise, over a period of time my spirituality reaches a standstill and although I am making an effort to fill myself I do not feel as content and fulfilled as before. This is because; the vessel with which I fill from the ocean can’t be refilled unless I am also prepared to keep emptying it. That doesn’t mean I have to drain myself spiritually.

It is just that each time I give or donate a quality from my inner ocean with a positive intention to someone; it flows from inside me and then gets transmitted to the other. Before the person experiences and benefits from the quality, I experience getting filled with it myself. Also, each time the person benefits from or even remembers the benefit in the future, he or she sends me positive energy, which, according to the Law of Karma fills me with the quality that I had donated, further. Sometimes a person might benefit or remember the benefit after 10-15 years or even more than that. Even after such a long time has elapsed, I keep receiving a return from the pure donation I have made, and keep getting filled, even if I am not specifically or consciously aware of the same.

Positive Reflections For The Day are messages sent by the Brahma Kumaris. If you are not receiving Positive Reflections already and would like to receive it daily, from the Brahma Kumaris, please send an email to the email address
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The Power Of Concentrated Thought

Concentration

The thoughts that we create are of different nature, different intensity and their quantity also varies from time to time during a particular day as well as night and also depending on what action we are performing at that particular moment of time or not performing any action at all. They possess immense potential or power, both positive and negative. They can either liberate (or empower) us or limit (weaken) us. This depends on what we think and how much we think.

The mind tends to jump from one place to another. Many of our thoughts filled with doubts, dejection, fears, insecurity, irritation, worry, comparisons which give rise to emotions like jealousy or inferiority / superiority complexes, desires, un-enthusiasm, etc. are useless thoughts and weaken us. They defocus us and cloud our inner clarity. Sometimes we keep repeating certain type of thoughts inside our mind, we keep going round in circles. Most of the time, these repetitive thoughts are negative or waste in nature related to the emotions mentioned above. Sometimes the repetitive thoughts can be necessary or positive also. Even necessary and positive thoughts, when repeated again and again, turn into the superfluous (excess) or waste. So it’s important to think in a higher, concentrated way – think less and think powerful; such thoughts have a lot of clarity, focus and spiritual force that help us to put them into practice more successfully. A single thought or a series of thoughts can block the capacity to feel content and awakened spiritually and make us sorrowful. On the other hand, a single thought or a series of positive thoughts can be the key to open the door that allows us to access, enjoy and experience the richness of our inner self. But it has to be a pure, strong, clear and concentrated thought or thoughts.

One important component that doesn’t let us remain in the healthy and positive experience of concentrated thought is the many different types of influences we are exposed to in our life. There are two different types of influences – external and internal. These influences can also be called voices. Voices from outside as well as inside speak to us.

External influences or voices are of people whom we come in contact with at home, at the workplace, at school or college, at the club, in the media etc. or elsewhere. These people are those whom we either see as equals or look upto. They could be our friends, our parents, our spouse, our teacher, our guru, our doctor, our neighbor, our colleagues, our boss, actors or sportsmen whom we admire, even the daily newsreaders or writers, etc. We have been exposed to these influences right from the time we were born. The influences from all these people are not necessarily on a physical level, they can also be on a subtle level of mental vibrations from others. We interact with all or some of these people and spend time with them and whenever we do that they advise us or give us their opinion on a physical level and we also listen to their voices on a subtle, emotional energy level e.g.  we spend a lot many hours in the office. We may not interact with our boss all the time but his personality is constantly influencing everyone in the office on a subtle level, including us. The office environment is shaped largely by the head of the office. In the same way, we may be taking care that we listen only to the positive voices of the media and we do not listen to the negative ones, but the all pervading negative atmosphere that exists everywhere due to everyone being exposed to the news of violence, sorrow and impurity from the media, definitely influences us on a subtle level, even though we might not realize it. As children, we have been listening to the subtle voices of our parents, even when we were taking shape in our mother’s womb.

Some of the internal influences or voices include the influence or voice of:

* selfish or impure desires of name, fame, revenge, greed, remaining in control of a situation or a person or dominating a situation or a person;
* the ego;
* the past;
* our inner conscience;
* pure desires;
* the Supreme Being or God;
* our worries of the present or of the future;
* temporary negative sanskars or personality traits;
* original or inherent positive sanskars or personality traits;
* attachments to people, situations, material objects, etc.;
* jealousy or dislike for a particular person, etc.

We are exposed to some or all these influences, whether external or internal, all the time. If we are not strong, our mind weakens under so many influences, which as a result, becomes unclear, confused and unfocused. Because of all of this, on the one hand, we need to have good judgment power to remain connected to what is essential, important and true, and on the other hand, you have to strengthen your thought, that is, think less; think more slowly; more concentrated and clearly with focus, a sense of purpose and positivity. That thought is like an arrow; it has positive force and clarity and it always bears powerful fruit. This kind of thought is called concentrated thought. The practice of introversion or meditation for a minute or few minutes at regular intervals during the day helps us remain above all influences and constantly feeds our mind with the power of silence, which helps us remain in this experience of concentrated thought easily.

Meditation

Positive Reflections For The Day are messages sent by the Brahma Kumaris. If you are not receiving Positive Reflections already and would like to receive it daily, from the Brahma Kumaris, please send an email to the email address
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