Very often in a group or team, whether social or official, while moving towards a common goal or objective or purpose, different people in the group or gathering give their opinion to make the objective of the team possible. While giving their opinion, one very commonly sees two different categories of people. The first category contains type of people who are attached to their ideas (to different extents) while presenting them to the group and the other contains type of people who are extremely active, positive and authoritative in giving their ideas, when they are required to do so, but are able to keep a relationship of detachment with their ideas.
If someone is attached to his/her idea and it is not accepted, he/she might react emotionally (internally) or even physically (externally). He/she:
* might even start creating disharmony in the group by talking against or creating ill-feelings for the person who objected to his idea or
* might stop co-operating with the remaining members of the group or
* sometimes may just disassociate or distance himself/herself from the group, which is a quiet way of non co-operation and can cause ripples of negative thoughts and feelings in the others.
These and others are some of the common reactions of someone whose idea/ideas are not accepted.
So the right balance of authority (while giving the idea) and humility (while accepting the result of the idea, the result could be rejection or even acceptance of the idea) has to be maintained. Humility comes very naturally to someone who is detached to his/her idea.
* might try to do the same through different means like putting up a seemingly valid or even an invalid objection to the idea in front of the whole group which may seem very reasonable to the group and may be taken or accepted by the group or the person objecting may try to ensure that happens or
* he/she may quietly disassociate from the group if the group begins showing interest in the idea (sometimes the influence of the position of the person is such that this kind of disassociation very easily manages to reduce the energy of interest of the group in the new idea) or also
* might present a new idea to the group, which manages to divert the attention of the group, etc.
Sometimes the person rejecting the idea is aware of the fact that he/she is rejecting the idea because of the inner attachment to his ideas, but will not admit it in front of others and sometimes he/she might not even be slightly aware of the fact; the attachment is too subtle to realize. Others might realize their attachment, but they might not themselves. And if someone to point out their inner attachment, they might even react, because where there is attachment, there is fear that the other’s idea will be accepted and yours will not. Attachment to one’s ideas fills the energy of ‘I am right’ in any situation. Overcoming all sorts of attachment to ones ideas is one of the foremost steps that we can take to bring about harmony in all types of relationships.