What do we do when friends and loved ones come to us for, and expect emotional support from us? Spirituality teaches us the right technique of providing emotional support – the technique of detached involvement, which is the technique of not being overawed, of not being affected ourselves by the emotions of others. If a friend, colleague or any loved one is upset and we also get upset (because we love them – that’s what we normally say), we cannot provide them the necessary support or the assistance to see why they are reacting emotionally and how they might change the nature of their emotions by themselves. True love for someone would mean that I am able to provide them that. While being concerned is fine, but by becoming upset, seeing them upset simply aggravates the situation and adds fuel to their fire.
By remaining detached, we can be more effective in our ability to care, listen and help them think clearly about the situation, they find themselves in. Only if we are stable, and that can happen only when we are detached, will we be able to provide them stability. We can encourage and empower them to change their negative reaction to a more positive response, and thereby generate a healthier energy. If we become over-involved in someone else’s problems, there is a risk that our own judgment will be affected negatively. This is why making decisions and choices under the influence of your own and others’ emotions is normally ineffective.
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