Overcoming Fears Connected With Negative Past Experiences

Open heart

Some of our fears arise due to the situations we have lived through; for example, if you are driving a car and you have an accident. Then you take some time to drive again, because the memory of the accident awakens the fear of having another one or reliving the one you had. The person that has never had a car accident gets in the car with confidence, because they do not have that scene recorded, since they haven’t lived through it.

There are fears that we carry within us that are not of the present. Something happened to us in the dark and we are now afraid of the dark.Fears in relationships: you opened your heart, you fell in love and, after a time, you experienced pain, you felt hurt, misunderstood, manipulated, deceived or mistreated, and now you no longer open your heart for anything; it is closed off with the shields that you yourself have created. To overcome this kind of fear due to experiences you have lived through, you have to come to terms with your past and accept it fully. You cannot change your past; lamenting the past doesn’t help you; complaining about the past doesn’t benefit you. Those shields brought about by fears do not disappear unless you do a deep cleansing. Begin to heal your experience of the past. Part of the past is healed with forgiveness. Without forgiving, you cannot forget.

The work with oneself to see what aspects of your past burden you and coming to terms with those aspects, requires silence, reflection and meditation. When you come to terms with your own past, you can let go of it and be free of it, not be afraid that the past will come back to you. If not, sometimes, it is like a shadow that follows you. If your house was robbed once, the shadow follows you that, perhaps, you might be robbed again. If they hurt you, you fear it will happen again. Sometimes that experience presents itself in dreams, in the subconscious or in present attitudes. Reliving the past in your mind, you do not fully enjoy the present. You have to accept the pieces of your past so that they do not continue to generate upsets. Accept that you had to live through them and live the present with a constructive vision of the future.

In the above context, it helps to write letters to God about your experiences. The exercise of sharing them with God in writing brings clarity inside you and helps you to bring the spiritual light and might in your life in order not to be burdened by unnecessary experiences, unhappiness or grief. Have you ever written to God? You could do it at night and tell Him the things that affected you or that you have learned. You can tell Him the things or intimate feelings that other people perhaps wouldn’t understand or wouldn’t be there to listen to. You could also talk to Him about all that you question, and you do not have an answer to. And the following morning, when you meditate and study a little bit of spiritual knowledge, you often receive answers.

Positive Reflections For The Day are messages sent by the Brahma Kumaris. If you are not receiving Positive Reflections already and would like to receive it daily, from the Brahma Kumaris, please send an email to the email address
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The Source Of Pure Love

The highest love is the Supreme Being’s (Supreme Soul’s) love. This is the love of the perfect spiritual being (soul), the perfect parent towards the imperfect child where the parent does not see the child’s weaknesses. Just as the flower turns each morning to absorb the light and warmth of the sun we too need to turn each day to absorb the light of truth and warmth of pure love from the Supreme Being, from the Source. This is not the God of a religious belief system, but the personal god that we all share, the one parent and friend that we all share. This is not a God as a concept, nor is God a belief. If we hold God just as a concept or belief in our minds, which is perhaps what we learned as children, we will never know him, never experience the greatest and deepest love. We cannot receive love from a belief just as we cannot have a real relationship with a concept. Instead, it is necessary to establish a personal relationship with God through a silent conversation of thoughts and feelings (to begin with). Hence the need to practice quietening a busy mind, the need to free our feelings from emotional disturbance. The Supreme Being is available to everyone but few of us know how or where to direct our attention. The connecting and absorbing of the love of God is a personal process called meditation, that never costs anything and can finally become a natural part of living each day.

Positive Reflections For The Day are messages sent by the Brahma Kumaris. If you are not receiving Positive Reflections already and would like to receive it daily, from the Brahma Kumaris, please send an email to the email address awakeningwithbks@bkmail.org with – Subscribe – written in the subject.

Love And Suffering

There are two things that touch or move us in life: pain and pleasure. Both create addiction. We feel pain in the body, and sometimes it is even emotional. But suffering arises in the mind. The suffering in the mind arises from thinking negatively towards the self, towards others, looking at them with a vision or attitude that causes grief, sorrow and suffering. Both extremes, pain and pleasure, can create addiction. On creating addiction it can start to form part of someone’s identity. Later if one tries to stop the addiction of pain or suffering, it can almost feel like a threat towards the self, and towards one’s own identity as one perceives it, because suffering is identified with. It is too hard to see oneself as no longer suffering.

An e.g. in this regard is that of a mother, with three children, who was undergoing a meditation course at one of the Brahma Kumaris centers. Her daughter had learned to meditate and became very happy and joyful. Seeing her happiness the mother came to learn to meditate. With a few sessions she felt much more at peace and had very good experiences, but all of a sudden she decide to stop the meditation practice and leave the course because she was starting experiencing a positive detachment, which she perceived as negative. Now, she was no longer feeling afraid of what might happen to her children. The meditation was awakening in her a love free from fears, but it brought on in her an inner clash of beliefs between the old and new beliefs. Her old belief was that to love someone is to suffer about them or create pain related to them.

We have the inner belief that love, worry, fear and suffering go together. It is difficult to transform (change) fear until we eliminate that belief. You are love and you need to share that love. Life is a sharing of love, it is loving the body, loving oneself, loving others, loving God, loving nature, loving work. That energy of love in the end purifies us and helps us to go forward. But while the belief exists that love has to be linked to fear and suffering, we will be blocked and will put a brake to the flow of pure love. In the name of love, we worry, we suffer and we are afraid. Instead of helping from a place of freedom in love, we help out of worry and fear, and in doing so we stifle, control, depend, and the other person feels their inner freedom restricted. We do not let them be.

If we review our personal life and see the moments when we have experienced most pain in our lives, we realize that it is with the people we have most loved, and that have most loved us that we have suffered most. We experience pain in a relationship of love, where there is possession, control, submission and dependence. Other times the pain is caused by a loss that generates an inner emptiness. That person filled me, they gave me wholeness, they were the reason for my existence and now they have either left me or they have gone. In the second case, we wouldn’t say that they “have died”, but rather that they have gone to another level of existence i.e. the soul has taken a new physical costume.

When there is too much pain we cannot lean back into our true power and experience our energy of love. Only the power of pure love, unconditional love or love of God, can help us to get rid of the suppressed pain inside the subconscious. When you live through a situation that causes pain in you, you have to love yourself, stabilize yourself and enter into silence. Observe that pain without being afraid of it. Observe it to let go of it and understand what it is that it brings about in you.

The answer, generally, is connected with others: * He/she doesn’t love me anymore and that’s why I feel pain, * Things are not like they were before, * The company of this loved one doesn’t give me the benefits it was giving me before.

If a person loved you and now has stopped loving you, does that make you feel pain? Or is it your own expectation and your desire for that person to keep on valuing you or loving you like before that trap you in pain? Is it that you don’t accept change? The truth is, we bring on suffering ourselves. If you don’t want to make yourself suffer, starting from now you do not have to bear any more suffering. Nobody can wound you or can cause you pain, except if you allow it. So how do you allow it? By being a vacuum that sucks in everything of the other, the good and the bad, and you suffer. It is expectations from our loved one that make us vulnerable to the experience of suffering.

Positive Reflections For The Day are messages sent by the Brahma Kumaris. If you are not receiving Positive Reflections already and would like to receive it daily, from the Brahma Kumaris, please send an email to the email address awakeningwithbks@bkmail.org with – Subscribe – written in the subject.

A Spiritual Perspective Of True Love

Emotional love can flower into true love when the fire of emotions cools down and is substituted by a wiser and more mature relationship. True love needs a fresh and renewing atmosphere, without fears. When you feel spiritually full, you feel flowing over with pleasure, happiness, wellbeing, and that state helps you to accept the one whom you love as they are, because from your fullness you give and share and you don’t need or expect anything from the other. While you need something that you want the other to satisfy, you will have expectations and the fear that those needs might not be satisfied, and you will get frustrated more easily. When you feel like a being of peace, a being of love, a tranquil being, a being that is spiritually full and satisfied, your relationship with others is a relationship of sharing on a level on which fear is not generated. You are not asking for or taking anything from the other. An elevated sharing of love, of happiness, of knowledge, of wisdom takes place, in which you do not generate a dependency on the other.

Attachments and dependencies, fears and insecurity, block our experience of love, of peace, serenity, freedom, happiness. When you have a feeling of love that takes you to a state of joy, to wholeness, but then you attach yourself to the object of your love, be it a person, or a property, automatically the feeling changes into fear: you fear to lose the object of your love and, instead of feeling wholeness and enjoyment, you feel fear. Over time that attachment turns into a dependency and you start to become inwardly empty: that is, your energy level goes down. Love in its purest form is a like a spring that pours forth for the benefit of others. Learn the art of loving, being free and allowing to be. Pure, true, love is an unconditional love that flows freely. Do not cling (hold on to). Love does not cling.

Positive Reflections For The Day are messages sent by the Brahma Kumaris. If you are not receiving Positive Reflections already and would like to receive it daily, from the Brahma Kumaris, please send an email to the email address awakeningwithbks@bkmail.org with – Subscribe – written in the subject.

The Coexistence Of Love And Freedom

Is it possible to love each other and be free at the same time? Yes. To reach this state in a relationship great wisdom is required. Most people love one another and tie one another down. Thus they lose their freedom. When freedom is lost, happiness goes away, and true wellbeing gives way to unhappiness. Often we look above all for love, a love we believe will change our life. We see it as the recognition of our inner value by another person. However, we trip over ourselves in looking for this love. Necessity is what motivates us and we try to satisfy it with an object or person who matches up to perfection. We have an immense emotional need for love, and the fear of remaining in a state of unsatisfied wanting. In our search to fill our need, we are prepared to deceive ourselves with unsuitable partners. Many people allow the love of another person to define their personality to such a point that, if they are rejected, they lose any sense of who they are and of the purpose they have in life. Often the relationship is colored, through one of the partners or both, by fear.

To free ourselves of the tendency to depend, we should have a strong heart, without any selfishness; a heart that has nothing to hide and that, as a result, is free and without fear; a heart that does not hold on to closed beliefs, to old negative experiences; a heart that has good feelings and is free of bitterness; a heart filled with the true values of peace, love, freedom and solidarity – which as a result is stronger and fuller.

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Positive Reflections For The Day are messages sent by the Brahma Kumaris. If you are not receiving Positive Reflections already and would like to receive it daily, from the Brahma Kumaris, please send an email to the email address awakeningwithbks@bkmail.org with – Subscribe – written in the subject.

Fulfilling The Criteria Of Positivity

What is the best way to define positivity? What, for you, is a positive thought, word or action? We could define positivity as something which leads me as well as others towards to a state of truth. A state of truth for me as well as any and every soul is a state in which it is an embodiment of the virtues of peace, love, joy, purity and power i.e. a state in which these virtues exist inside the soul to the fullest extent. As a result, in this state of truth everything that flows out of the soul or everything that it radiates or every thought, feeling, word or action that it creates, speaks or performs, is filled with these qualities. This state of truth is the original state of every soul. All these qualities are connected with each other. One quality attracts the remaining qualities towards itself automatically. So, when I, through any medium, bring myself and others, whom I interact with, close to this state, to whatever extent, then that is positivity.  If my thought, word or action takes me and others away from this state of truth, then that is the opposite i.e. negativity. Negativity hides my truth, and causes me to take incorrect steps during the day, without realizing, hurting myself and others yet not knowing how or why. At the level of non-physical spiritual vibrations, we are all connected with each other, as a result of which if I help others to come close to the experience of truth, truth as defined above, I will also help myself: whereas if I bring others down into a state of falsehood that will also bring me down. Whenever I give another soul an experience of any of these virtues, the virtue first flows through me and then touches the other. As a result there is an increase in the virtue inside me first and then the other is benefitted.

In the entire day, my words and actions may be numbered, but my thoughts are in thousands. My mind works, even when I sleep, even though I am not active physically at that time. The quality of my thoughts at that time is largely influenced by the quality of my thoughts, words and actions during the day. So I need to be aware throughout the day as to how much is each thought, word and action of mine fulfilling the criteria of positivity mentioned above. The more my thoughts, words and actions do so; the result is an increase in an experience of inner and outer lightness in the self and a similar experience from me to those who come into my contact or whom I interact with.

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Positive Reflections For The Day are messages sent by the Brahma Kumaris. If you are not receiving Positive Reflections already and would like to receive it daily, from the Brahma Kumaris, please send an email to the email address awakeningwithbks@bkmail.org with – Subscribe – written in the subject.

Pure Love

Many find it hard to understand the notion of pure love.  Most have never experienced it.   The romantics believe, jealously and possessiveness are central elements of passionate love.  Mothers feel attachment is necessary to show care and concern.  Friends believe expectations are integral to friendship.  Pure love is least understood and yet most desirable.  Let’s take a deeper look at what exactly pure love is.

First premise: Pure love means to want nothing, nado, zilch… sometimes we convince ourselves that at least we have the right to something from our partners, spouses or close ones… but no… not really.  To want makes me a beggar and in reality the beggar does not deserve pure love, he deserves ‘pure pity’.

Pure love cannot be given it can only be shared by two beings of equal pure intensity – its when two individuals don’t share the same pure love, that that quality of exchange turns into a need for help, sympathy, comfort, approval, confirmation or sense of security etc., whereby one (giver) is forever filling a bottomless pit in the other (taker), with so-called love.

Pure love does not expect anything… I may not want, but I will expect and the two are slightly different.  I may not want love – and perhaps feel full of it – yet I may still expect others to be loving in some manner or form!  And in the process I become Mr. or Mrs. Fix It.  To expect anything, means to set one self up for disappointment, and further disappointment as I realize I can’t fix anyone!  I have to accept that I am the guilty party, not the other, for setting up false expectations in a world where more are empty than full of pure love.

Although marriage is a contract, love is not!  You cannot own someone or get someone to love you just because they have signed a contract to be with you ‘for better or worse or till death do us part’.  Pure love does not demand.  Pure love is natural, gracious and freeing.  It binds, but only to your higher, true, pure and perfect self.

In pure love I am detached, meaning I am unaffected by the outcome.  I am detached from the outset, not that I find myself attached (and thus affected) and then need to detach!  I do not hold onto anything.  I let go and accept the person or the situation – no preferences of like or dislike – from the outset!  This is a freeing thought for myself and the one I love.  It allows for newness, magic and mysticism to flow.

Having pure love means to bring others closer to themselves and to their inner truth.  Therefore there is utmost honesty and a deep respect for the soul and their process.  Today we may not see someone in their highest self but we know that tomorrow, if we continue with our generosity of pure love, they will ascend to their greatness.  Therefore, wish the best for the one you love and not necessarily what is in your best interests.

Pure love means to keep the highest attitude and vision for every soul.  We realize, through a vision of soul consciousness, how lovely each one is; it is not an effort to see this.  Once we are set in our highest self-respect, it’s easy to see everyone through this filter.

Be careful to not project your needs onto someone else… in a world where no one is emotionally complete, it’s a tall order and impossible to fulfill.  In pure love we do not demand.  We trust.  We trust that we will have the abundance we need and that the drama of life will deliver the right people and situations to help us feel the beauty of pure love.

God’s love is the purest.  He doesn’t measure his love nor love you on Tuesdays and not Thursdays!  His love is constant and truly altruistic.  Although we can’t be God, we can learn that divine love has to be of the same measure – pure, constant and selfless, first for the self and then for others.

It’s Time… to share love of the highest quality – Pure Love.  My greatness lies in returning to this pure, divine consciousness.  Stay detached from the offset and do not allow personal likes and dislikes to get in the way of the flow of the beautiful actors and drama of life.  Pure love is freeing and generous, embracing and rewarding.  Sign this contract of pure love with your higher self!

 

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It’s Time is spreading far and wide!  Feel free to forward this wisdom, but to avoid any karmic rebound, please acknowledge its source – 

‘It’s Time’ by Aruna Ladva, BK Publications London