Neutralizing Anger

What is a good neutralizer for anger? Peace you would say. It’s not only peace, but a combination of truth, peace and love, in equal amounts. Truth and peace are the two inner states, which never ever leave us. Both remain permanently within each one of us. We already know, inside our subconscious and sometimes even consciously, the truth about anger and we can call our inner peace whenever we want – it’s there to be used. But what happens in real life situations is that we lose awareness of what is true i.e. the truth that anger is harmful and the truth of ‘who I am’. And we also forget the practice of peacefulness because some negative situation or experience temporarily blocks our access to the peace of our heart.

Peace is also deeply connected with love and we all have experienced many a times that it is impossible to feel loving and angry at the same time. Both cannot co-exist. In fact it is love that is the healing balm for our heart, that we our self have stabbed and wounded by indulging in many anger habits since we were young. But what happens is that we search for love and peace from the hearts of others. That means we have not yet realized that we already have what we search for, within our own hearts. To heal the wounds of anger, which can be in different forms like irritation, resentment, hatred, revenge, rage, etc., it is essential to rediscover the truth of who we are and the peace and love of what we are.

Positive Reflections For The Day are messages sent by the Brahma Kumaris. If you are not receiving Positive Reflections already and would like to receive it daily, from the Brahma Kumaris, please send an email to the email address awakeningwithbks@bkmail.org with – Subscribe – written in the subject.

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The Three Root Causes Of Anger

Any time we sense irritation, frustration or anger emerging inside our consciousness, if we take a close look at it, we will notice we are fighting a war in our consciousness with one of these three: either with another person, most obviously or with the past or with our self.

We are at war with the past because our anger is always towards something that has already happened and looking at it we react emotionally which means we are trying to change it, which is impossible. Any scene that has taken place a year ago, a month ago or even a second ago cannot be changed. We may be completely convinced and we may believe we can. That’s because we hold this belief subconsciously. Somewhere and sometime in the past, we have picked up and absorbed the belief that the world and its circumstances should shape up exactly as we want.

When our internal desire of a certain type of circumstances is not fulfilled, or in other words something against this belief happens, our instant reaction is one of the various forms of anger and we tend to try and change the incident that has happened in a far-off past or a past that has just gone by. We keep replaying a revised incident, with words and actions that we would have liked and that suit our convenience and we also keep nullifying the actual incident or remain in a un-acceptance mode towards it. This is like fighting a war with the incident. We tend to do this inside our minds, repeatedly, even realizing somewhere deep within, that it is impossible.

We are at a subtle war with another person when he/she has done something which we perceive or judge to be wrong and our anger is an attempt to change them or take revenge. This is the second belief that is embedded very deeply in our consciousness that the world, including its entire people, should do exactly what we want them to, or what we think they should do. Perhaps we have not yet realized that it is impossible to control others and make them change. The lack of awareness and realization of this truth, which we will definitely realize at some point or the other, doesn’t let us become anger-free very easily. People will always make their own decisions and control their own actions, always. They can definitely be influenced, but they cannot be controlled. When our internal desire of a certain type of behavior from people is not fulfilled, or in other words something against the above belief happens, our instant reaction is one of resentment or irritation or frustration or hatred which are all forms of anger.

One of the most important attributes of a great soul is the ability to not have even a trace of desire for revenge inside and the ability to forgive someone who has supposedly wronged him in anyway. Don’t we all acknowledge that such an individual who has freed himself completely from all anger forms earns our and everyone else’s respect and deepest admiration, and we give him the medal of greatness inside our minds and even physically? So doesn’t that mean we intuitively know that this anger is an incorrect emotion and peace, good wishes and forgiveness are the correct ones, in harmony with the basic nature of the human spirit?

We are at war with our self when we fail to make the world do exactly what we want, or we believe we have let our self down. An e.g. of a war with one self is – Suppose you are standing in a queue waiting for your chance to arrive, only to discover an hour later, just when your chance is about to arrive, that the time for the counter to close has come and the counter has closed. You get upset, but with whom? Perhaps the person at the counter at first and may be with the other people in the queue and then with yourself, for not having found out the time of closing of the counter. There are two failures that make you uneasy here. First you failed to ask someone early enough, which would have saved you the hour time loss. Second, you failed to control your emotions of anger. Although you might not externally admit that you failed, inside you know. Because of these two failures, you then start to get angry with yourself. The thought pattern that goes inside your mind: to fail is to lose, to lose is to be sorrowful, to be sorrowful causes me to become angry, as you look for an external cause of your sadness which, in this case, is initially the person at the counter and the other people in the queue (who would have known the time of closing and could have told you). So you demonstrate to others your justified anger towards them. But deep inside you know it is you yourself that has made you sorrowful.

As the anger builds up inside you, again, after a while, you find someone else outside on whom you vent out your anger. You seem to feel better as a result, but it’s only temporary. The next time you become angry; interrupt the pattern of your anger by asking yourself two simple questions: Who are you fighting a war with? Answer: Yourself. Who is suffering the most due to the war? Answer: Yourself. And if your anger is directed at yourself for your own supposed failure then just tell yourself, “There is no such thing as failure, only a different result from the one that I expected and results are not going to be exactly as I want, expect or desire. That is a rule of the game of life.”

Positive Reflections For The Day are messages sent by the Brahma Kumaris. If you are not receiving Positive Reflections already and would like to receive it daily, from the Brahma Kumaris, please send an email to the email address awakeningwithbks@bkmail.org with – Subscribe – written in the subject.

Understanding The Inner Mechanism Of Anger

If we think, speak and act in an angry way, we leave an impression or memory of anger within our own consciousness which results in sanskara of anger to be born. Within the sanskara is the recorded emotion and experience of our expression towards the object of our anger. The object is a particular person or situation. If we encounter the object of our anger the next day, it will trigger the emergence the recorded anger from within the sanskara. We then deepen the sanskara as we express more anger, even if we only ‘think’ anger. The emergence of this emotional energy from within our consciousness then stops us from interacting in a positive way. It clouds our mind and confuses our intellect, weakening and distorting our thoughts, decisions and behaviour. This often explains why we find it harder to connect and communicate with certain people in our life. Essentially we are carrying a negative image of the other person within our sanskara from a previous interaction with them. And when we see them again it emerges the energy within the sanskara, which then influences our ability to respond to them.

Positive Reflections For The Day are messages sent by the Brahma Kumaris. If you are not receiving Positive Reflections already and would like to receive it daily, from the Brahma Kumaris, please send an email to the email address awakeningwithbks@bkmail.org with – Subscribe – written in the subject.

Choosing Peace Over Anger

Making the choice of peace is a simple choice, which lies in the hands of each one of us, at every moment right through the day, every day. A lot of people would choose a world, the world out there, made of peace but spend most of their time remaining peaceless in their own inner world, and then in their next door world, i.e. in their personal interactions. A lot of us would prefer a life of peace and we try to shape up such a life, only to be influenced by the old belief about how it’s absolutely fine to get angry once in a while, without which it’s difficult to get things done. We also get influenced by those people around us who continue to get angry for the shallowest of reasons. These people could be either at home, at the workplace, in the friend circle, the world at large or people who do not matter too much to us but whom we encounter every day – at the vegetable market, on the highway, or even in the movies for that matter! Unaware of the root causes of their anger, all these people around us will find a thousand ways to justify it, and will keep continuing with the habit in their lives. Their emotional un-clarity is so deep and addiction to the emotion of anger is so powerful that they will probably laugh at the idea that anger is a negative emotion and is form of weakness or suffering. They will, on the other hand, say that peace is timidity and a form of weakness or suffering. So, if you do choose peace over anger in your life then you are also choosing to be in a state of power and becoming free from suffering as a result. However, after having made that choice, to experience it in every moment of your life, it is necessary to rediscover where your peace is located inside you, it’s true nature or essence, how to access it through meditation and finally how to use it or apply it in your daily life.

Positive Reflections For The Day are messages sent by the Brahma Kumaris. If you are not receiving Positive Reflections already and would like to receive it daily, from the Brahma Kumaris, please send an email to the email address awakeningwithbks@bkmail.org with – Subscribe – written in the subject.

Anger Management And Prevention

As you increase your self-awareness, you will also see how your anger begins with a moment of irritation towards a person or situation. If you then give attention to that irritation by replaying or revising the event in your mind, which is like giving water to a plant, it will grow into frustration. And if you water the frustration, it will grow into anger, which, in turn, will develop into rage.

Don’t suppress and don’t express your anger. What’s left? Transform (change). The transformation of anger requires you to realize the root cause of your emotional pain. The realization comes by understanding deeply the self or the soul. When you see the cause it gives you a choice a) to stop creating it or b) continue creating it. Unfortunately, although many see why they cause their own anger and acknowledge responsibility for their creation, they continue to keep getting angry. They find many ways of justifying their anger. They have an ‘anger addiction’. They are angerholics.

Are you ready to see the root cause? Do you want to make new choices? Isn’t it time to break your emotional addiction?

Positive Reflections For The Day are messages sent by the Brahma Kumaris. If you are not receiving Positive Reflections already and would like to receive it daily, from the Brahma Kumaris, please send an email to the email address awakeningwithbks@bkmail.org with – Subscribe – written in the subject.

The True Self And The False Self

Meditation is an attempt to find the true self. It is this self which holds the identity of what I am, an identity which, when realized, gives fulfillment and direction to our life. This is what we call the consciousness of * I am, which emerges in meditation when there is concentration on the present and we focus on the now of * I am, rather than the past, or the future (* I was, or * I will be).

To remind us of this state, we use the word Om, which means ‘I am a soul’, the spiritual identity that acts as a key to human consciousness. As we find and realize the true self through meditation, we become aware of the false self and how deeply embedded it is in our lives, both in our way of thinking and being.

When we understand this illusory (false) self then we can begin the process of dissolving its negative effects on the original or true self.

The illusory (false) self is made up of desires that, even when fulfilled, fail to add value, or a sense of worth to the self. In fact, quite the opposite process happens.

Let us examine some of these illusions and how they give us a mistaken sense of value.

Illusion (False emotion): Ego
Thought: I know, I am
Result: Arrogance, inflexibility, controlling others

Illusion (False emotion): Anger
Thought: I expect
Result: Force, aggression

Illusion (False emotion): Attachment
Thought: I own, It’s mine
Result: Insecurity, possessiveness, jealousy

Illusion (False emotion): Greed
Thought: I want, I need
Result: Emptiness, wanting, dissatisfaction

Illusion (False emotion): Lust
Thought: I desire
Result: Exploitation, misuse, emotional dependence

These are the five fires that burn away the quality of human life: uncontrolled emotions that once, in their original pure state, gave happiness and peace to the individual but now create only emptiness and sorrow.

Transforming The Anger Of The Other

In meditation, when I connect with God, I absorb His spiritual love and peace, which causes my own original qualities, which are present in me, the soul, in my pure state when I begin the playing of roles through physical bodies on the world stage, to come to the forefront or to the surface, to emerge in the conscious from the sub-conscious. As a result, now, where previously there would have been conflict, I have a greater capacity to remain peaceful when another person behaves in an unpleasant way with me. I have the power to stay mentally and emotionally stable when someone provokes or insults me. This power is enormously valuable in life, enabling me to cool heated situations, and even remove another person’s anger altogether.

Instead of focusing on the anger on a person’s face, I focus my attention to the non-physical, star-like being or soul within the person, which was peaceful and loveful in its original, pure state. This increases my tolerance and acceptance power. Also, through my meditation, I am actively aware of the spiritual bond all human beings share, as souls who have a common home of peace, the incorporeal (non-physical) home, from where all of souls come and a common connection with the One Supreme Father, the Supreme Soul. Through this knowledge, I connect with the goodness in the other soul and my love for the soul is maintained. I realize that this goodness is a deeper reality than the anger. The truth is that if I can hold this soul-conscious vision steady for long enough, I radiate positive energy to the other soul, which works like magic and awakens the goodness within the other person. Then, my tolerance bears fruit and peace really does prevail between the two of us.