Balance is Bullocks

Balance is Bullocks

Balance is boring. There I said it. When I see the word Balance I want to fight it. Why? To me, balance does not encourage grow. Here is why.

Process versus outcome

Balance is used a lot in combination with mindfulness and meditation. It looks nice on the outside but when you really want to go into some deeper levels in meditation, balance becomes an obstacle. The illusion is to think that meditation and balance are the same. They are not. Meditation is the way, and balance is the outcome. By focusing solely on the outcome, you eradicate the process, the path. And you know what happens when the monkey puts his hand in the jar to get the banana out? Right, the hand gets stuck.

The experience of balance is a great feeling where everything is where it should be. And this was probably the case al along, but are you able to feel that yet? My guess is no. Focusing on the outcome is basically saying that al the turmoil, all the obstacles, pain, confusion that will come on your path, do not exist. How is that not suppression? It is said that the process is a female energy and the outcome is a male energy. Meditating on balance however, is totally focusing on the male energy, the outcome. It is a hard, stubborn way of saying: what I experience does not exist. It is the monk sitting on a mountain al alone and pretend the world does not exist. To me, that is sheer laziness. There he sits, in perfect balance, on the top of his mountain, looking down on the world where the action is. Does it serve a purpose? Probably. Adding peace from a distance could work. But for most earthly creatures it’s probably not manageable to sit on a mountaintop all day long.

When balance does work

So solely focusing on balance can make oneself a bit fanatic and even isolated. When balance is not a mindful meditation but a daily practice, I could see it working. As a flow within the rhythm of everyday life. Like an equilibrium, a state in which opposing forces or influences are balanced:

  • Work – Rest
  • Sit – Walk
  • Spend time alone – Spend time with friends
  • Play music – Enjoy silence
  • Eat – Poop

Sounds heavenly right? Maybe a bit boring? Old people enjoy balance a lot. They have their diner at time, go to the bingo on Friday, go for walks and rests…. awesome!

When balance does not work

In short: when you are young fast and fierce! When you want to change habit patterns you got stuck in. When you feel that life is suffocating. When you feel that the status quo no longer serve your needs. In that case balance is killing. Because often enough, when you enter the realm of inner work, you will find turmoil, duality, trauma hidden beneath the surface of your perfect balanced life. And it hurts to just let it sit there and pretend it’s not there.

Inner conflict, duality and stress

The enlightened monk on the mountain looks great but for most of us it is not the reality right now. We just can’t balance our way out of an inner conflict. Let’s look at this inner conflict as two different directions, two flows of energy going the opposite direction. One direction is moving left, and one direction is moving right. Just like an elastic band that you can stretch. Now what happens if you stretch the band more and more? It would jump either right back or it would break. Now pretending you are in balance by sitting in the middle, doesn’t allow your inner conflict to stretch. It may feel as if you are in control of the opposite directions, but in reality you are keeping yourself in a freeze position.

elastic band

The illusion of balance is that it could hide unresolved inner conflicts due to mental, emotional, sexual or physical abuse. Instead of resolving and healing, it creates a cognitive dissonance that is often confused with balance or peace.

Self empowerment versus balance

To actively change situations, to heal inner conflict, focus on balance is like waiting at a bus station and hope someone comes to heal you. You outsource your inner work to the Gods that may or may not appear in your life. Instead of sitting in the waiting room of your own life, it requires courage to get actively involved in your own healing. It is leaving the mental state of wishing, hoping and praying into the heart state of experiencing. In order to own your peace, you’ll have to roll up your sleeves and do the work. That means, in reality, facing your shadows and start working with them. Shadow-work in combination with meditation is a good start.

You will finally are able to find the contradictions in yourself and be at peace with them. You will build up inner resilience so that the elastic band no longer snaps or jumps back. When you are able to master your reaction to things instead of ‘peace out’ of situations, then you know you are healing. Then, just on a sunny day, out of the blue, you will experience this inner calm state called balance.

Non-Duality

non-duality

As soon as I start to think about Duality and non-duality my head starts to spin. It is both a simple and complex topic on which philosophers can debate ENDLESSLY. But I am not a philosopher, I am a yogi who studies the ancient Bhagwad Gita. That is, I practise Raja Yoga at the Brahma Kumaris. However, the concept of non duality comes across a lot and here is my attempt to wrap my mind around it.

What is duality?

As soon as you open the can of worms about duality and non-duality a Cacophony of words and opinions come up about what non-duality is. There are multiple views on non-duality and there are unlimited dualities. So let’s look at the word duality and some synonyms.

In etymology, the word duality comes from the late Latin dualitas, from dualis, from duo ‘two’.

Synonyms of duality are:

  • dualism
  • duplexity
  • ambivalence
  • dichotomy
  • polarity
  • separation
  • opposition
  • difference

Various types of non-duality

There is no one global view on non-duality. Even the non-duality is in duality. For me personally, I see two main different views:

Denial of reality Embracing reality
Acosmic Cosmic
Mukti (liberation off live) Jivan Mukti (liberation in live)
Denial of reality Embracing reality

The above is a bit of a black and white approach, but to understand the different views there is no other way for me to explain it. In short it boils down to:

  1. you either vanish from the earth and merge into the light of non-existence
  2. you embrace reality and end all conflict within oneself

According to acosmism, this plurality of individual objects is ultimately unreal, non-existent, a mere appearance or illusion. Cosmic Non-Dualism does not tend to world renunciation but rather to the exact opposite. More about that here.

Mukti means liberation from live, the ultimate goal in live being liberated from it. Jivan Mukti means being liberated in life. So whilst you are acting in the world, you experience liberation.

Shakespeare was right al along: To Be or not to Be. Duality is an existential dilemma. Should I stay or should I go. My guess is to stay, because…. what if there is no escape?

Being free of ego, the end of inner duality

Now here comes, for me personally, the non-duality that is real, tangible and to be experienced: being free of ego. If there is no escape in life, let’s face it, we have to work to maintain our body, we have relationships, we are in reality. Being free inside that reality is liberation in life. However what gets us into trouble inside that reality is our ego, our false perception of our selves.

If non-duality is the experience of absence of duality, then ego is a root cause of experiencing duality. The ego says: I am male, I am female, I am black, I am white, I am rich, I am poor. Every label we put on ourselves is a separation that leads to isolation. And isolation leads to all kinds of mental problems. I isolation, it becomes hard to establish a relationship…

Relationships

For me, the non-duality perspective boils down to the ability to establish a relationship or not. It may sound harsh, but when I think of Eckhart Tolle, I see a man alone on a bench. When I think of Buddha I see a man alone under a tree. What I see is the path of isolation. If reality is a mere reflection of myself, it means I do not exist as a separate being, then why is there an urge to connect with other people? Let alone God? Where does authenticity go? The vanishing point of view makes no sense to me. Freeing myself from ego on the other hand, in order to have healthier relationships, does.

Illustration above:

Wang Chên-p’êng (王振鵬)
Description
English: “Vimalakirti and the Doctrine of Nonduality”, handscroll, ink on silk.
中文(台灣)‎: 元 王振鵬 維摩不二圖 卷
Date 1308

The Strength of the Scapegoat in the Narcissist Family

Narc Abuse Survivors: These "Boots" are made for walkin

As in any family, individuals in the narcissist family are as unique as their finger prints, but their roles are remarkably similar across class, race, and any other measure of human “difference.”

My Narcissist Family

In the narcissist family, as a means of survival everyone rotates around the narcissist, who is usually Mom or Dad. Sometimes both parents are narcissistic. In my family, my father was the overt Narcissist Personality Disorder (NPD) type, and my mother enabled his abuse while also having her own covert narcissistic traits mixed with a higher order of being that sometimes allowed her to give affection, attention, and generosity. When it served my father’s needs, as is typical of NPDs, he bestowed approval, even idealized exaltation, to his “golden child,” my brother.

If you are familiar with the narcissist family cast of characters, you know that there is nearly always a “scapegoat,” and in my…

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Meditation On Self-Forgiveness

Forgiveness

Sit comfortably and relax. Recall the feelings associated with some mistake or mistakes you have made in the past. Connect with any feelings of hatred and revenge; connect with any feelings of guilt and how you felt you had let others and yourself down; the shame and the humiliation you may have felt…

Now ask yourself:
‘What good is it doing me or others by holding onto these feelings…?
What benefits does it bring me? How does it help me, or the other people affected…?’ (pause for 30 seconds).

Now, say the following to yourself inside your mind:
‘I decide that I have held onto these feelings long enough and it is time to let them go… This is a matter of reason as they no longer serve me, and a matter of my will at a deep level to release them… I feel all these negative feelings and let them go… I release them… let them go…’

Now, unconditionally, forgive yourself… you have made a mistake… you have learned from that mistake… there is nothing to be gained from having feelings of guilt or shame… let them go… forgive yourself… forgive everyone else who may have contributed… it is time to let it go…

Now focus on your true self – a divine being of spiritual energy situated at the center of the forehead… focus on your inner feelings of peace… Think of and feel your inner qualities of honesty, tolerance, kindness and generosity. Focus on them, as this is who you truly are… a peaceful, compassionate, forgiving being of spiritual light… radiating these qualities to the world…

Simple Exercise To Identify Your Hidden Fears

fear

If you want to overcome and overpower fears that exist inside you, you have to first take a look at your feelings and hidden emotions. After realizing your feelings and emotions, you have to know how to manage them and finally correct or overcome them. Given below is a simple exercise that will help you to achieve that.  This exercise will help you identify the conscious and sometimes sub-conscious (very subtle) fears that lie inside you.

Choose an area of your life that you feel is negative and needs some improvement. Now, ask yourself these three questions:

1. What do I really want, what is my aim and objective?
2. What obstacle/obstacles are stopping me from achieving my objectives?
3. What prevents me from dealing with or overcoming that obstacle?

For each fear that comes to you in response to the question no. 3, ask yourself the following questions:
A. What is the worst that can happen, if what I fear occurs?
B. What is the best possible result for me and for others, if I do it even though I feel afraid of doing it?
C. Keeping in front of you the answer to question B and comparing it with the answer to question A will inspire you to overcome the fears that lie inside you.

NDE – A Spiritual Perspective Of Near Death Experiences

Near Death Expierience NDE

A very interesting phenomenon that closely points not only to the existence of the soul and Supreme Soul but also to their form and qualities is the phenomenon of Near Death Experience (NDE) and Out Of Body Experience (OBE).

What Is A Near Death Experience (NDE)?

A near-death experience (NDE) is the experience reported by a person who nearly died or who was medically dead and then revived or in a situation where death is likely or expected. Some of the common circumstances in which an NDE can occur are:

  • serious illness such as cardiac arrest or brain hemorrhage;
  • complications before an operation;
  • injury, such as from a car accident, shock, electrocution, asphyxia (condition which results from interruption of respiration due to suffocation or drowning);
  • suicide attempt;
  • coma;
  • serious depression, etc.

The most important feature of an NDE is that the person’s consciousness is not in his or her physical body. It might function independently of brain activity, which suggests the existence of the soul. The physical body is usually stationary, while the consciousness of the person experiences an extraordinary freedom of movement, completely independent of the physical body.

The Existence Of The Soul

During a Near Death Experience (NDE), the dying often have an Out of Body Experience (OBE), in which there is a sensation of rising up and floating above their own body while the body is surrounded by a medical team, and watching it down below, while feeling comfortable. While people are dying, they may be in intense pain, but as soon as they have this experience i.e. they experience leaving the body, the pain goes away and they experience peace, joy, bliss and a feeling of complete wellbeing.

Doctors who have been conducting research on NDE over the past few decades have in their studies noted that in the Out of Body Experience (OBE) state, many who have ‘physically’ died can, on revival, tell the doctors, nurses, operation room team and relatives exactly what they were saying or doing during the revival process from apparent death or from unconsciousness – both conditions in which a person is not physically active enough to see or hear what is going on around them. Many actually hear the doctors announcing them dead.

Many of the patients who have been revived are able to describe in great technical detail exactly what went on in the operating room while they were supposedly unconscious or dead. e.g. A 44-year old patient, while in a deep coma, later told the doctor that a particular nurse had placed his dentures on the side. The patient accurately described the revival room, those in the room, as well as describing the attitude in the room that everyone was close to giving up on revival efforts.

All this suggests the existence of the consciousness (soul) as a non-physical energy independent of the physical body – in the Out of Body Experience, the consciousness is active and can hear and see, while the physical body is inactive or unconscious or in a coma or apparently dead (as perceived by the medical team).

The Meeting With A Being Of Light

The most incredible common feature in the majority of NDE and OBE experiences, as stated by the ones who go through the experience, is a meeting with a very bright light. This light is normally a highly radiant golden-white light, a powerful spiritual being of light. Usually, the experience involves being drawn into darkness through a tunnel, at an extremely high speed, until reaching this light. This feature, without doubt, has the deepest impact upon the Near Death Experiencer (NDEr).

In the medical research studies conducted, very different kinds of tunnels are described by NDErs. The commonest one is a void, a blackness: a floating, a moving, a going towards the light. The structure of the tunnel, if anything, is minimal. One person had a tunnel in the form of a great big pipe. Other people go through swirling, whirling tunnels, but they themselves do not turn; the tunnel simply turns around them, while they themselves float through it.

This light that all NDErs encounter appears dim at its first appearance, but it rapidly gets brighter until it finally reaches a supernatural brilliance. They normally express in their experiences that it was a being, a very very personal being of light, with a very beautiful and sweet personality of its own. The warmth and love which radiate from this being to the dying person are just unimaginable and very difficult to describe. They feel extremely secure and loved in its presence and experience an uncontrollable magnetic attraction to this light.

It is important to note that this experience of meeting with a bright light is at the consciousness level, which functions outside the physical body in an Out of Body Experience. The physical body in these experiences is unconscious or in a coma or seemingly dead (as perceived by the medical team). The experience is shared by the Near Death Experiencer after regaining consciousness.

The Existence Of The Supreme Soul

Near Death Experiencers identify the being of light which they encounter or meet in various different ways depending upon their religious and cultural background and existing beliefs of this life. They normally say that they did not hear any physical voice or sounds coming from it, nor did they respond to the light through sounds, but there was a direct, uninterrupted transfer of thoughts and emotions in such a clear way that there is no possibility whatsoever of misinterpreting what the light has to communicate to them. This uninterrupted exchange does not even take place in the native language of the NDEr, yet, he understands perfectly. He cannot even translate the thoughts and exchanges which took place while he was near death into the human language, once he returns from the experience.

The Being of Light, as if an all knowledgeable entity, makes a presentation of sorts in front of the dying, in which a complete review of everything they have ever done in this life is projected. Interestingly, some of the common thoughts that the light (being) directs to the person are:

  • Are you ready to die?
  • What have you done with your life that is sufficient enough?
  • Is it worth it? and
  • What have you done with your life to put across to me?

A very important point to note though is that all NDErs insist that these questions, though emotionally very strong, are not at all asked as if to accuse or threaten or criticize the dying. On the other hand, no matter what their answer may be, they feel an extraordinary acceptance coming from the light, which they have never experienced in any human relationship. The light, rather than being a ‘checker’ (or having a strict personality) shows an all loveful personality, which is highly overwhelming. The light sometimes tells the person that they must return to life. Sometimes, they are given a choice of staying or returning. In either case, the NDErs as taken over as they are by this experience are not willing to return. Some people who do not believe in the existence of God actually come back from this saying very strongly that although prior to this they had no religious or spiritual beliefs, now they believe that there’s a God, and there’s a life after death.

The above experiences strongly suggest the existence of a Supreme Being or Supreme Soul or God and points to the form of this Supreme Energy as being a spiritual point of light with qualities like unlimited peace, love, bliss and power.

Our Basic Experience

Spirituality teaches us how to practice the art of Soul Consciousness and Supreme Soul Consciousness in our day to day lives. We have through our daily practice perceived and experienced the soul to be a conscient being of light, a tiny pin point of sparkling star like energy full of peace, bliss, love, purity and power residing in the centre of the brain, an entity completely independent of the physical body, containing a conscient mind, an intellect and a definite personality. On the other hand the Supreme Soul or God is perceived and experienced to be the same in form as the soul i.e. a golden white pin point of spiritual light and might, but an ocean of the above mentioned virtues; containing a conscient mind, intellect and personality of his own.

The world in which we play our part and the one on which we are now living is known as the physical world. This is because all living beings here have a physical form. Here the laws of science come into play and time, history and geography are important parameters of life. It is a world of action, experience and expression.

GodBeyond the physical world of action lies an infinite, timeless dimension of complete silence. This is the original home of all souls, the non-physical soul world, a soft golden red light world where we once stayed, as a soul in a state of total peace and bliss. In meditation we turn our mind and intellect away from the material world and travel to the incorporeal or soul world, the supreme region of highest consciousness with the eye of the mind or the ‘third eye’ and connect them with the Supreme Soul, a resident of the soul world and the fountain of eternal peace. Through this mental exercise or connection we harness his vast resources of spiritual energy and experience super-sensual bliss. This experience is similar to an Out of Body Experience and Near Death Experience.

Experiencing The Supreme Soul

Read over the following words slowly and silently. Using the power of visualization, aim to experience them in your mind:

I focus on myself, a soul, a golden star like point of light……..
I reside between the eyebrows, in the middle of the forehead……..
I radiate golden rays of peace, purity and love in all directions……..
In this awareness of I the soul, with the power of my mind I can travel beyond the limits of my physical senses……..
I visualize myself gradually going beyond this physical body……..
I, the sparkling star like energy, fly into the night sky……..
I see myself floating above a vast ocean of buildings and lights……..
Slowly I rise higher and higher to enter space……..
I am surrounded by millions of stars and planets……..
Slowly I see myself flying beyond the physical world of five elements……..
I, the golden star, full of peace, enter another dimension, a soft golden-red light world……..
A world of sweet silence and peace,……..
full of peaceful light stretching far far away……..
I feel pure warmth here, surrounded by light……..
I the being of light sparkle in this element……..
I am free of all tensions, extremely light………
This is where I belong,
This is my home……..
I recognize this place……..
I had forgotten it, but now I have rediscovered it……..
In front of me there is a brilliant point of light just like myself……..
I come closer and closer to this Supreme Being of Light……..
The Supreme Soul radiates golden rays of the light of unlimited peace in all directions……..
He is an Ocean of peace……..
I feel the waves of peace passing over me, I absorb the light of sweet peace……..
I bathe under the shower of golden peaceful light……..
All burdens are being washed away……..
It is so soothing, calming and relaxing……..

Spend a few minutes in this positive experience and then gradually come downwards to take your seat back in the physical body.

The soul doesn’t actually leave the body. It is only a visualization exercise, a journey through levels of consciousness; we simple change our consciousness from one of the physical world to one of the non-physical or soul world.

On the physical level, the memory of our physical home and our childhood experiences in this birth is always within our sub conscious mind right till the end of our lifetime. Sometimes we go back to see the place where we were brought up and played as children. We re-experience the special feelings and important moments. On the spiritual level, the call of our spiritual home and our original state of consciousness is always there in our sub conscious mind in every birth. For every soul in the world there is a spiritual home (where the soul stayed before it came on the earth) and a spiritual Father that calls us to return. For every soul in the world there was a spiritual childhood in the company of the Supreme Father in the soul world – filled with joy, purity, love and bliss. It is a place of pure peace and contentment, a dimension beyond time and space. It is a journey of no distance and it takes only one second to experience it through the medium of meditation!

Redefine Success And Failure

redefine success

You feel positive and joyful when you realize that you are successful. However, when failure comes to you, you feel defeated. The definition of success and failure varies from one person to another and according to the stage of life that you are in. It is important to have success and failure well defined for yourself, because, based on your definition, you feel greater or lesser inner wellbeing, happiness and wholeness. There are also different levels of success and of failure. For example, for some the greatest success is to be happy and radiant, whatever happens inside or outside. If one manages to keep happy in the face of failure, for them it is a success. Because to be happy means that I am connected with my essential worth or inner self, my being is awake and alive. Failure does not reduce my vitality, my contentment levels. The greater or fewer external achievements do not reduce the quality of the inner being or of being happy. The important thing is that you believe your own definition of success and failure. Some ideas can be shared that can act as guidelines, but, in the end, each person has to create their own guidelines, definitions and factors leading to success and failure. Basing ourselves on these guidelines and beliefs, we evaluate our successes and failures.  You can reflect on what true success and failure mean for you and, according to those meanings, centre your attention on the values and efforts that lead you to achieve your objectives.

For many, society has conditioned us to look for success through the path of our career, achievements, profits, praise, financial wealth etc. That way, we have learned a narrow view of success. Running in search of this kind of success and pursuing it, we come to exhaust ourselves, get burnt out and depressed. In order to achieve these successes we have stopped caring for the inner being (the soul) and relationships. That has meant and means stress, pain, anxiety, family break ups, personal and relational disintegrations, the destruction of the environment and planetary and climatic imbalances. As a consequence, we feel empty. Although we achieve the applause, the income and other successes, the soul is malnourished and has the sensation that it is lacking something. Reaching fame, financial wealth, the power of a visible position, and reaching it with a broken soul, broken up family and a sick body, causes depression which explains why, in our recent history, famous people have ended up committing suicide.

If we want to redirect our personal and collective lives toward true well-being and wholeness, we have to re-evaluate and redefine our beliefs and factors that lead to success and failure. Before asking yourself what success and failure mean for you, it is important to be clear what context you want success in. Depending on the context, the dimension and the meaning of success and failure will be different. For example, in the work context, a failure will be different to that in the family context. In the personal context or in life in general, the way of perceiving success or failure varies.

Unloading Your Pressure Baggage

Pressure Baggage

On a spiritual level, pressure can be defined as an external force acting on us divided by our ability to bear the force or resist it. Thus, force and resistance capacity are two variants in the equation of pressure. Everyone has different resistance capacities. Two people with different resistance capacities will experience different amounts of pressure on being subjected to the same magnitude of force.  A feeling of pressure absorbs our freedom and gives us an experience of being ruled by an external entity. There are a lot of people who hold the belief that they can experience freedom only in the absence of an external force, which is almost impossible, since there is almost some force or the other exerted on the soul by ups and downs that takes place in the role that it plays through the physical body; which includes the physical body itself; profession; family; wealth, all types of relationships, etc. Even our own personality, thoughts, feelings, emotions etc. exert pressure on us at times.

Apart from the resistance capacity, the other variant in the equation of pressure is not only force but our perception of what the magnitude of the force is. This depends primarily on the beliefs that we carry. Two people will perceive the same situation in their role (as explained above) as forces of different magnitudes. While we hold the belief that life events, people and their expectations from us, are the forces that are the causes of our pressure, we will be able to do little to change the habit of being pressurized. It is we who pressurize ourself and allow the outside to pressurize us. We can either go through our life journey while experiencing feelings of being emotionally imprisoned, confused, rushed and hurried, or we can do the same with the power of faith and determination, at the same time remaining patient and maintaining our inner emotional stability. In some cases, some of us put pressure on ourselves, because we carry the belief that a bit of pressure is good in order to achieve what we want; it provides us with positive energy and motivates us. So this is an example of perceiving a force in our life, a force which does not exist. Such kind of pressure can deceive us and give us a feeling of being beneficial in the short term but it can have harmful effects on us in the long term. Some others might not experience this pressure because they do not carry this belief at all and don’t invite this force.

Can we experience freedom only when there is an absence of outside pressure? We feel pressured from many sides. At work, we feel the pressure to do tasks as per fixed guidelines of set systems and within boundaries of time, of keeping up our performance as per others’ expectations and as good as our compatriots. In relationships, we feel the pressure of experiencing success in them, of satisfying others and gaining respect from them. In studies, we feel the pressure of having to excel in them, not only because that is instrumental in building our future but because of the desire to be seen in a positive light by others. We feel the pressure of having to earn more and more wealth to satisfy the necessities, comforts and luxuries of the family and to maintain a certain image in society. In the face of problems, we feel pressure when we are not able to solve them quickly or in the way that we want. Failure or its fear, in any sphere of life, generates pressure in us.   Sometimes we experience pressure because the mind is not functioning as per our desires or directions or we are not able to transform our negative personality to a positive one as much as we want.  When we believe that something harmful can happen if we don’t reach our set objectives on time or in a certain manner, we feel pressured. Physical illnesses or their fear can also create pressure for some of us.

And so life turns into an endless amount of pressure crests, like speed breakers that appear one after the other, unsettling us and not giving us time to relax. When we feel pressured, it seems that the life forces rule our life and we do not feel free.  In the long-term, this repetitive habit of creating feelings of pressure and carrying such baggage ends up leaving us exhausted on an emotional and spiritual level.

Sometimes the pressure we are carrying is related to the situation we are in, sometimes we even carry a pressure of one situation in another situation i.e. it is unrelated pressure. All this continues throughout the day, day after day. What all this pressure does is increase the quantity of thoughts that we carry in our mind, which in turn reduces our efficiency and discriminating and judging power. The words and actions coming out from such a state of mind are improper and lacking in power, conviction and clarity. To ensure that we do not carry pressure baggage on our emotional back, as per our pressure equation (shared in the first message of this series), we need to change the incorrect beliefs that we carry, which are the root cause of our pressure and at the same time increase our ability to bear the different life forces. We carry thoughts that are determined by our belief of what success is and what failure is, what winning is and what losing is. Although we perceive such beliefs to be true, they are not true; they are like a facade that influence our perception of reality and generate in us feelings of pressure.  The truth, on the other hand, is deeper than beliefs.

While meditation will serve as an important tool to increase our inner power to tolerate or resist life forces; spiritual knowledge, understanding and wisdom will serve as an immensely important tool which will help us in correcting our beliefs. So in times of pressure, stopping yourself for a minute and assessing your thoughts, then going backwards, and checking the beliefs which are the root cause of the thoughts at that particular moment and then changing them requires strength and clarity, which we will obtain through the medium of spiritual wisdom. Once the beliefs are corrected, the thought patterns will change. Thoughts like – Maybe I won’t arrive on time or If I don’t finish this assignment successfully, I will lose my next promotion or If I lose my money in this financial investment, my family will stop appreciating me etc. which we create all the time – will be replaced by more positive thoughts of security, fearlessness, patience, peace, faith, determination, certainty etc.

Resolving The Inner Identity Crisis

At the present moment in human history, almost every individual has lost the awareness of its real or true self. This has happened very gradually as each individual has progressed in its journey of birth-rebirth and has kept on attaching itself to various different things and as a result losing its sense of self in things that it is not i.e. identifying with things that it is not. In a way it can be said that this took the self far away from itself. This personal, internal identity crisis has led to a universal, external identity crisis, which has resulted in an emotional crisis resulting in peacelessness and sorrow in our inner world as well as in the outer world. 

This inner identity crisis is the root cause of the multitude of deformed emotions that exist inside us like anger, ego, lust, fear, comparison with others, greed, hatred, low self esteem, dependencies etc. all of which have brought us and keep on bringing us pain. We explain this with an example – suppose you have just constructed a new apartment. While making it and once its ready and you are using it, you have become excessively attached to it i.e. you have started identifying with it. Due to this false identification, the first emotion that gets created inside you is ego. If someone were to criticize the apartment even slightly, you would react immediately with anger. You constantly fear any sort of harm to the apartment. You even compare it with apartments that others possess. You also start looking down at people whose apartment is not as good as yours i.e. you create emotions of hatred for them. If something negative were to happen it, it affects your mental state immediately i.e. your happiness has become dependent on the material possession. Your temporary success along with the recognition that it brings you from others leads to the desire of more success of a similar type i.e. possess some more things – bigger and better, which is nothing but greed etc. The seed of all these incorrect emotions is my over-identification with this newly acquired possession. All of these wouldn’t exist inside me, if my relationship with was one of detachment with it. In this way, we identify with various objects and people in the whole day, which leads to the creation of such emotions inside us.

The confusions, complications and problems that exist in our world today and the state of human relationships all over the world, are simply a reflection of our lack of inner clarity about who we are, what we are and where we are heading i.e. a lack of true self-identity. So how do we resolve this internal and external turmoil? There is an original, beautiful self, with characteristics of peace, love and happiness that exists within each one of us, the self from which we have been distanced since a very long time. This is a centre full of the spiritual resources of all virtues and powers. Reaching it is a journey of only one second and no distance. By identifying with this inner centre, a centre which is imperishable, unchangeable, constant and even eternal, my self identity becomes strong and stable, as compared to many false identities based on external realities like position, wealth and material possessions which are all perishable and subject to various ups and downs even in one single day, and if we over identify with them, we are bound to experience constant pain and discontentment.

This process of true self-identification is not a renunciation or avoidance of the way the outer world is but it is a healing process for your inner world. It is an internal correction process of identification, whereby you rediscover your true self as a complete being full of positive emotions that you always were and you start identifying with it, doing which very easily helps you let go of the wrong identifications. This process is commonly called meditation, the foundation of which is spiritual wisdom. Once this inner work is done, the outer world starts taking the shape of a reflection of that. Resolving the identity crisis first changes the way our internal and external world looks to us, as a result changing the way it works.

Experiencing Perfection And Success In Role Playing

Spirituality gives me the detached realization of being pure consciousness. This realization not only detaches me from my physical body, but also detaches me from the different roles I play through my physical body (male or female) and the different acts or scenes in each role, in one particular day or one particular lifetime. The roles may be many, the acts and the scenes may be many, but I am the actor playing the different roles and participating in the different acts.

There is great strength in experiencing myself as an actor as compared to the previous existence in which I used to lose myself and forget my spiritual identity completely while playing the different roles, identifying more with the roles and thinking myself to be the role instead of being a spiritual actor.  An actor, even while in the midst of the most dramatic scenes, even whilst getting excited or emotional or angry, knows he is not the part itself, the part is just temporary. He knows he is something more than that, and that when the play is over, the role will not exist anymore. So, even though I play my role, I don’t cut off myself from the role and don’t leave my responsibilities, I need to adopt the observer or spectator ordetached consciousness instead of the player consciousness. A player tends to get over-involved. So, the balance has to be maintained – I play as well as remain detached. Only then the roles will be played to complete perfection and I will experience success in each role.

If I’m able to protect and maintain my inner spiritual identity in each role that I play in the day, it’s much easier for me to switch roles. I switch roles so many times even in one particular day. If I lose myself in a particular role, my mind and intellect tends to become limited and restricted to that role and I’m not able to see beyond the immediate needs of the role and I find it difficult to adapt to another role. As a father, for example, I may also be called upon to play the different roles of husband or a Managing Director or a friend or a brother or a son or a son-in-law etc. Also many a times, for e.g. in the absence of the mother, I may have to play the role of the mother or in the absence of the Plant Manager in my company on a particular day, I may have to play his role, etc., both being roles that I do not normally play. I’ll have a better chance of being able to fulfill all these roles if I don’t get too caught up in any of the roles while playing them and remain in my spiritual consciousness while playing them. A spiritual consciousness will keep me detached.

Every role demands different positive personality traits or sanskaras to be put into practice. I need to be flexible and possess the ability to pick those personality traits from my complete spiritual store house of personality traits that I the soul possess inside me, that are best suited to the role and are required for that role at that particular moment, so that the role and the act is played accurately and perfectly to my satisfaction as well as the other’s satisfaction. In a bodily, limited consciousness, I will not be able to that.

While playing my different roles, another important ability (a few abilities were mentioned in yesterday’s message) that I need to possess is to become victorious over the different scenes that I play. What does that mean? I need to remember that every scene, every act, whether positive or negative, in every role, shall pass. No scene or act is permanent. What happens is that, in a bodily consciousness, each time I am part of a positive scene in my life; I tend to become attached to it and want to hold on it and keep it with me permanently, which is not possible. And each time I am part of a negative scene, I tend to become impatient and want it to get over as soon as possible, which again is not possible all the time. As if a few minutes or few days of the scene or act are difficult for me to pass or bear. Positive scenes bring me into a strong, temporary wave of happiness or excitement and negative scenes into a wave of deep sorrow, both of which are incorrect emotions. To make sure that I don’t get taken in by both these waves, which is becoming victorious over scenes, I need to remain detached while playing different roles in different scenes. I will be able to become a master at this detachment, again when I am established completely as my spiritual self.

Separating role and actor increases opportunities for seeing what my role actually demands, and reduces the chances of being unduly influenced by others. Stepping away from the stage, even for a moment, I’ll see more clearly how the other actors in that particular scene are behaving, and what is required of me. So, in this regard, it’s a good practice that at different times of the day, I step back for a few seconds and detach myself from the role that I am playing and remind myself that I am a pure being of consciousness, a sparkling star like energy full of peace, love and happiness and nothing else. This is my spiritual identity.

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